Have you ever had The Dream? You know the one. It comes in the night when you have to give a speech tomorrow or a week from tomorrow, but you really, really don't want to.
There you are, standing alone in front of the crowd, afraid to say a word because you know you're going to mess it up. You feel exposed, vulnerable. There's nothing between you and them to protect you. Uh-oh.
People who aren't comfortable speaking in public have dozens of reasons why they can't or won't do it. Maybe it's a really debilitating fear. But maybe it's just laziness or a reluctance to work harder to achieve something that doesn't come easily. The truth is that wherever your reluctance comes from, it's possible to overcome it. Here's the question to ask yourself: "What would my life look like, how would it be improved, if I weren't afraid?"
Let's imagine a few typical scenarios.
"How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"
"Practice! Practice! Practice!"
If you haven't heard that old joke before... where have you been? No one remembers who said it first, however everyone who has to perform before an audience should know it by heart. It's never more true than when we intend to speak to an audience, especially an unfamiliar one, about a subject we know like the back of our hand. There's no greater temptation than simply to say, "I know this material. I don't need to rehearse this speech. I'll just get up and tell them what I know. No sweat."
You're getting ready to write a speech for an important occasion. Maybe it's a presentation for your company. Perhaps it's the toast at a wedding, a bon voyage send-off to someone who's retiring, or a memorial speech for someone you loved. When you sit down to write the speech, you stare at the white page while a million jumbled thoughts run through your head. Or worse, you can't think of a thing to say. You have a bunch of vague feelings about how you'd like your speech to sound, but you're totally confused when you try to find the words to begin.
How many times have you been to a meeting or event where the M.C., quite possibly a very bright, capable person and an excellent speaker, has used humor to outline the program for the evening, sounded totally experienced and professional in front of the room and then, to get the ball rolling, said, "So, without further ado, please welcome..." and gave the next speaker's name?
What is it that makes most people afraid to give a speech? Interestingly enough, it's not the actual fear of speaking. It's rather who is listening. Or more specifically, what is the audience thinking about while they're listening?
When I ask what their number one fear is, most people will say, "Being judged."
"In a good way or a bad way?" I ask.
"Is there a good way?" they reply.
Why do most folks expect that when they give a speech, the audience is looking for ways to criticize them and find them wanting?
"How do you know that's what they're doing?" I ask.