Here's a conundrum I get asked about often.  People say to me, "I used to be a confident speaker.  Talking to a group of people was no problem for a long time.  But recently, I don't know why, when I think about making a speech, or sometimes right in the middle when my talk has been going fine, suddenly I get butterflies, my head starts to spin, I worry that I'm going to make a mistake or forget something important, and, boom, there goes my confidence.  Why does that happen?  And what can I do about it?" 

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       Why is it that when some folks are asked to say something at a special occasion, their first question is, "Do I have to write a speech?" This is accompanied by squinching up their eyes, raising their eyebrows in dismay, and maybe wrinkling their nose as if at a malodorous smell. The question itself is often asked in a querulous tone, the underlying meaning of which is "Please tell me I don't have to write a speech. Can't I just wing it?"
      Why is 'winging it' never a good idea? And what's the big deal about writing a speech?

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The other day I needed to ask for telephone help to access an account I hadn't used in awhile. I'd forgotten the entry sequence and just wanted a quick, two sentence reminder: "First you do this, then you do that. That's all there is to it." Unfortunately, that's not what I got. 

        For close to 15 agonizing minutes I sat there biting my nails and listening to the person on the other end of the phone repeat the same information at least twice even though I got it the first time. That was only the beginning. 

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One of the most common reasons some people hate public speaking is the belief they simply won't measure up. They have heard other speakers who really impressed them with their command of the subject, personal confidence and clever wit.  There are speakers who seem to hold the audience in the palm of their hand, always know the right thing to say, never make a mistake and tell really funny jokes. The folks who'd rather die than give a speech are convinced that, no matter what they do or say, they won't live up to that standard. 

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If you're like me, every year at this time you make a few New Year's Resolutions that you have every intention  of keeping. However, also if you're like me, there are a few Resolutions that you've been carrying forward from year to year for so long that they've grown long white beards and wrinkles, but they're still turning up at the top of your list
every year like clockwork.  One is something about your weight.  Others are about getting organized, making more money, changing your lifestyle, learning to play the piano or finally getting to see the Great Wall of China.  They're like old friends that you've grown fond of and expect to see every year at this time. 

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When it's important that you say it right, what can you do to prepare, so you won't say it wrong?  How can you ensure that the next words that come out of your mouth will be the right ones?           
 
       At this time of the year, there are lots of opportunities to meet new people at networking events or holiday parties.  Whether we have only 30 seconds to attract attention or an hour seated next to someone at a dinner table, we want to present ourselves as someone worth getting to know better.  Here are four helpful techniques to approach every new encounter with confidence and sincerity and make our interactions, brief or lengthy, memorable and worth repeating.

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