When I talk about becoming a unique and sexy speaker, inevitably someone reminds me, "Well, you know people are more afraid of making a speech than they are of dying."
Time we laid that old chestnut to rest! People feel that way about lots of things. Some are deathly afraid of flying or bungee jumping or leaping from an airplane with a carefully packed parachute and a trained instructor strapped firmly to their back.
Ever hear the expression, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it"?
Many people are reluctant to get up and speak for fear the audience won't listen to them. Maybe they’re not naturally witty and afraid if they're not funny, nobody will pay attention. Maybe they’re worried the audience knows more about the topic than they do and will be sitting in judgment and finding them wanting.
These beliefs are false.
It's amazing how many times people ask me, "Where do you get the ideas for your Speaking Tips?"
It’s like my asking an accountant, "How do you know what to tell your client about his income tax?" Or a doctor, "How do you know what to tell your patient about his illness?" Whatever your profession, you've acquired a bank of information and experience that you can draw on to help your clients. You've become an expert and you have enough knowledge at your fingertips to help them solve their difficulties.
The world is getting ready to open up; at least that part of the world located between Canada and Central America is peering closely at the calendar, looking for an appropriate day to declare, “We’re open again!” There are going to be celebrations. We’ll be meeting in indoor spaces, maybe in smallish groups to start with, where those of us who have been vaccinated will feel safe. Chances are you'll be invited to a few gatherings where you'll have to introduce yourself to strangers. Suddenly, the big question is: “New people? I’m out of practice! What do I say after I say, "Hello, my name is..."? Do I even say, My name is... or just stop at "Hello"?” Or like many of us, should I wait for the other guy to say, "Hello, my name is..." and hope he'll just keep on talking while I think of something clever to reply?
"It's not giving the speech that terrifies me," I heard a colleague say. "It's all that anxiety beforehand. Those moments, days or weeks before, when I'm planning and preparing make me feel sick to my stomach!"
They’re called knock-out nerves, the pre-speech anxiety that comes in many forms: procrastination, sleeplessness, forgetfulness, irritability, queasiness, etc. They might be due to other causes, but they're common to many speakers, from the tentative beginner to the seasoned pro. Why does having to speak in front of a bunch of strangers, whether in person or on Zoom, make us feel so scared? And what can we do to prevent it?
You're an expert in your field who's been asked to speak on a panel at a Zoom conference with a number of your peers. You've done your research and prepared carefully. Your bullet points are all in a row. You've even planned ahead for any objections to your conclusions. All systems are go.
You're the next to last speaker, and you're listening carefully to what the other panelists have to say. To your horror, one of the speakers ahead of you has chosen a similar point of view. She’s used some of the same examples and said almost exactly what you were going to say!