WHAT IS THE AUDIENCE THINKING?
What is it that makes most people afraid to give a speech? Interestingly enough, it's not the actual fear of speaking. It's rather who is listening. Or more specifically, what is the audience thinking about while they're listening?
When I ask what their number one fear is, most people will say, "Being judged."
"In a good way or a bad way?" I ask.
"Is there a good way?" they reply.
Why do most folks expect that when they give a speech, the audience is looking for ways to criticize them and find them wanting?
"How do you know that's what they're doing?" I ask.
The answer usually revolves around whether or not they're paying attention: their body language, are they crossing their arms defiantly, yawning, looking at their cellphones or iPads, studying their fingernails, whispering to their neighbor, or even just sitting there with closed eyes and crossed arms, obviously asleep. Or worse. "I know they're waiting for me to fail. They look so grim. They're just looking for ways to disagree with me or criticize me. They're like a firing squad, ready to shoot me down."
Would you believe that about 90% of the time, none of this is true?
Okay, I'll grant that in any given audience, maybe 10% of the folks have a "Show me!" attitude, gleefully looking for flaws in any presenter and his presentation. But the truth is that 90% of the audience does not.
The audience is like a nest of baby birds, mouths open, crying "Feed me! Feed me!" They've come to hear you because you have 'food' they crave. They want to leave the room knowing something they didn't know when they came in. Your talk is the gift they've come to receive. Who doesn't like to receive a gift?
"Yeah, but... I just know they're judging me!"
How do you know? How can you tell what is actually going on in the minds of the audience?
Let's take all those behaviors mentioned above and say that one interpretation of them is, "They're judging me and deciding I'm not good enough." What are some other interpretations? What else can we say about an audience member who demonstrates these behaviors?
Crossed arms and a defiant expression on his face? That's his "listening" pose. He's really paying very strict attention and processing everything you say. He's not judging, he's absorbing.
Yawning? Didn't get enough sleep last night, has been working solidly on a project and has come to hear you speak as a welcome break. It's her first chance to relax in a long while.
Looking at tech devices? Taking notes of things they want to remember or questions they want to ask during the Q&A. Posting how great your talk is. Making a memo to tell others about you, maybe invite you to speak to their groups.
Whispering to her neighbor? Missed something, asking for help. Commenting favorably on a point you just made. Needs to borrow a pen.
Eyes closed? Focusing on your voice. They hear better with no visual distractions.
Here's the key. You can't read their minds. Whatever they're thinking is known only to them. It's not your job to analyze their body language and be worried about what you think you see.
Your job is to give your gift, present your material, make your message land. You're like a baseball pitcher throwing at the plate. The pitcher cannot control how the batter will react to the pitch. He can only control how he sends the ball, the direction, angle, speed, etc. The batter is not waiting to criticize the pitch. He's waiting to receive it and act on it.
When you get up to speak, you're going to pitch the best message you know how, the one that's most appropriate for this audience. How they react to it is not under your control. But you can rest assured that they came because you're pitching something they want to hear. You're feeding them information they need to know.
All you need to think about is sending your message over the plate. That's the gift they came to get and you're the only one who can deliver it. Focus on delivering your gift. Your preparation, enthusiasm and sincerity will make it a solid strike that your audience will recognize and admire.