KNOCK OUT THOSE KNOCK-OUT NERVES

"It's not giving the speech that terrifies me," I heard a colleague say. "It's all that anxiety beforehand. Those moments, days or weeks before, when I'm planning and preparing make me feel sick to my stomach!"

They’re called knock-out nerves, the pre-speech anxiety that comes in many forms: procrastination, sleeplessness, forgetfulness, irritability, queasiness, etc. They might be due to other causes, but they're common to many speakers, from the tentative beginner to the seasoned pro. Why does having to speak in front of a bunch of strangers, whether in person or on Zoom, make us feel so scared? And what can we do to prevent it?

Most speakers have pre-speech nerves for their own personal reasons. Yours are different from mine and from everyone else's. They have to do with confidence (or lack of it) in our own abilities, feelings of self-worth and whether or not we feel accepted in the world. Do we believe we’re competent and capable, prepared and knowledgeable? Will they listen to us, take us seriously, make us feel appreciated and admired? Not to worry. Whether it’s your first speech or your 50th, all speakers suffer from similar feelings to some degree. The difference is how we handle them.

To overcome pre-performance anxiety and feel a lot more comfortable about giving your next speech, try these techniques:

1. Know your material. When you're absolutely confident about your subject, you'll feel much less anxious about presenting it to your audience. Plan ahead. Visualize the questions you might be asked and prepare answers for them. What you have to say is important. It matters! Your goal is to communicate the value of your topic with enthusiasm. If you believe that what you're saying is worth listening to, your listeners will believe it, too. You'll be so busy expressing your passionate belief, you'll never think about being nervous.

2. Your job is to focus on your listeners, not on yourself! If you're focusing on yourself…how you feel, how you look, whether or not you're going to stutter, stumble, or forget what to say… of course you'll be nervous! Who wouldn't be? It's not your job to concentrate on all your shortcomings! Your job is to give the audience a gift, the gift of your knowledge. It's not about you. It's all about them! Keep that in the forefront of your mind. It's about giving them your gift! Put your focus on them and you’ll forget all about being nervous.

3. Use confidence-building techniques. It's normal to have pre-speech jitters. They're a sign that your adrenaline is flowing, you're on your toes, you're highly functioning, and all your instincts are 'go'. However, sometimes all that adrenaline feels a little overwhelming. Many speakers employ favorite techniques to feel calm, cool, and competent. One technique is to take a few deep breaths just before you speak and say to yourself your favorite confidence-giving mantra.

Mine is, "Okay, Marion, permit yourself to be delightful!" It makes me smile and feel good about myself. A couple of others are, "I am unique! What I have to say is important! No one can say it like me!" Or, "I am the best Marion Claire that there could ever be! I have a special gift to give this audience!"

Create your own mantra, one that makes you feel happy, powerful and ready to give your gift.

Use these techniques (and others, just ask me!) to help you knock out those pre-speech jitters. You’ll be amazed at how confident you’ll feel!