Why are so many people afraid to give a speech? Interestingly enough, it's not the actual fear of speaking. It's rather who is listening. Or more specifically, what is the audience thinking about while they're listening?
When asked what their number one fear is, most people will say, "Being judged."
In a good way or a bad way?
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Are you the type of speaker who loves to get up in front of a group and dazzle them with your knowledge and expertise? You have watched other speakers, good and bad, and seen how they attract and hold an audience. You've noted which ones are comfortable in front of the audience and which ones seem to be white knuckling it all the way. No contest which one you want to be.
Yet, when it comes time for you to give your talk in front of 10 or more people, all that study, research and preparation flies out the window. Your breathing suddenly becomes panicky and erratic, your legs feel wobbly, your brain won't seem to focus, and you contemplate the choice between fight or flight. No contest which one you'd like that to be, either.
Question: What do giving a holiday speech and giving a holiday gift have in common?
Answer: We use the same principles to give a speech or to give a gift.
When we think of the folks on our holiday gift list, we try to come up with something they'll appreciate that they didn't have before. Something that will make them feel we care about them. And when they smile and say, "Thanks, I love this, it's just what I need!" they'll really mean it.
It’s Halloween party time and the end of the year holidays are just around the corner. You're invited to a few parties and you know you'll have to introduce yourself to strangers. What do you say after you say, "Hello, my name is..."? Do you even say "My name is..." or do you just stop at "Hello"? Or like many of us, do you wait for the other guy to say, "Hello, my name is..." and hope he'll just keep on talking while you think of something clever to say?
You probably have between 30 and 60 seconds to make an impression. That’s long enough to say the important things you want someone to know about you, but not so long that they'll be rolling their eyes wondering when you're going to stop talking about yourself. Some people take their cue from the one they're talking to. If she's quiet, they keep right on leading the "Hello, I'm..." conversation. If she looks like she wants to put a word in edgewise, they stop and let her.
Often I'm approached after a speaking appearance by people who say, "I'd really like to be a better speaker."
"Great!" I respond. "How can I help?"
"Oh, well, I'm doing okay at the moment," they reply. “But someday I'd really like to talk to you about it."
Are you a Someday Speaker? Are you a Someday Book Author, Article Writer, Workshop Presenter, or... you name it, there's probably something connected to your business that you fully intend to do "Someday".
Ever hear the expression, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it"?
Many people who are reluctant to get up and speak fear the audience won't listen to them. They think they're not witty enough, or can't tell a joke, and if they're not funny, nobody will pay attention. Maybe they fear they don't know enough about the subject and the audience will sense it and tune them out. Or worse, they’re sure the audience knows more about the topic than they do and will be sitting in judgment and finding them wanting.
All of these beliefs are false.