It's unfortunately true that many people feel that speaking in public is like walking barefoot on hot coals. You can actually see their discomfort. They can't stand still. They constantly shift their balance from one foot to the other and back again, like marching in place.

For others, standing in front of an audience is like facing a firing squad. They plant themselves on a spot and freeze, afraid to move an inch in any direction or they might get shot. Or they hide behind the lectern or podium, afraid to move out from behind its protective shield to get close to their listeners.

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What's the greatest speech you've ever heard in your lifetime? Think about it for a minute. For some people a great speech and a great speaker spring to mind without any hesitation just because they were so memorable.

Take, for example, Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in 1963. We know it as his "I Have A Dream" speech. We revisit that moment every year on Dr. King's birthday and we can hear it any time on YouTube. It's accessible electronically in a way that most other historic speeches, say, Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, are not. So what made that speech great? Why does it touch us in a way that few other speeches in our history have? What did Dr. King say that was so special?

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Question: What do giving a holiday speech and giving a holiday gift have in common?

Answer: We use the same principles to give a speech or to give a gift!

When we think of the folks on our holiday gift list, whether they're the people we work, live or network with, we take into consideration their likes and dislikes, the financial limits we all agree to observe, and then try to come up with something they'll appreciate that they didn't have before. Something that will make them feel we care about them. And when they smile and say, "Thanks, I love this, it's just what I need!" they'll really mean it.

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You have to write a speech for an important occasion like a presentation for your company. Or perhaps it's the toast at a wedding, a bon voyage send-off to someone who's retiring, or a memorial speech for someone you loved. You stare at the white page while a million jumbled thoughts run through your head. Or worse, you can't think of a thing to say. You have some vague feelings about how you'd like your speech to sound, but you're totally confused when you try to find the words to begin.

You're not alone. For many people, the fear of speaking in public is not getting up and talking. It's not knowing if what they're going to say is "right".

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When you listen to a speaker you haven't heard before, do you sometimes feel you can't concentrate on what's being said? Your attention wanders, you squirm in your chair, look at your watch, and start thinking about what you'll have for lunch. What is it that turns you off? Are you just not in the mood to listen? Or is there something the speaker is actually doing that makes it difficult or impossible for you to keep your attention focused on receiving his message?

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When you're asked to give a speech, are you convinced the audience is there to judge you and find you wanting?  Are you sure you'll forget something important, say something bass-ackwards, turn red from embarrassment, speak too fast or too slow, or generally show that you're totally lacking in confidence or competence?  Do you endure hot flashes, cold sweats, upset stomachs, the shakes, and can't wait to get it over with?                                   

     Flash! You don't have to go through all that!  The audience is not licking its lips gleefully to see you make fool of yourself. On the contrary, the audience is rooting for you.

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