When you have to give a speech, do you ever worry about anything like this? 

"If I make a mistake, the audience will think I'm stupid."

"I have an accent. They won't listen to me or understand what I'm saying."

"They'll see how nervous I am and think I'm incompetent."

"English is not my first language. If I say things wrong, they'll laugh at me."

"I just know the audience is going to judge me and decide I'm no good."

        If you've ever thought any of this, be comforted. You're not alone. Fear of what the audience is thinking is one of the most common reasons that folks refuse to get up to speak in front of a group. And it's a shame, because 9 times out of 10, the audience is thinking none of those things.

        Why did they come to hear you speak in the first place?  Doesn't matter whether they're required to come, i.e. to a company meeting, or they chose to come because you're speaking on a topic they're interested in, or they're there for some other reason. The truth is they came because you have something to say that they want to hear.

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            David is president of his own company which he built from the ground up. He speaks to large groups of employees at his satellite offices and is also invited to address meetings of his professional organizations from time to time. He's not afraid of public speaking; he's confident and entertaining and always receives positive feedback from his audiences.

            But in the middle of his talk, when he thinks he's moving along swimmingly, he'll suddenly experience hot flashes, light-headedness, a pounding heart, and forget what he's supposed to say next. He feels embarrassed, is sure the audience thinks he's incompetent, and while he manages to recover and get through the rest of his speech, he feels like a failure.

            It has happened so often that he now waits expectantly for the moment when he knows he's going to blow it, usually about halfway through his speech. He can feel himself tensing up, the blood rushing to his head, and try as he might to focus, he knows what's coming and can't seem to avoid it. What's wrong with him?  

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     Why are some people totally comfortable speaking in front of a group but so many of the rest of us are shaking in our boots?

     That question was posed on an Internet forum and it started me thinking. Why are some people so afraid to speak in front of more than 3 people that they'll do anything to avoid it, including not taking a promotion, refusing to attend networking events where they have to describe themselves in 60 seconds or less, give a wedding toast or even deliver a holiday speech at the annual end of the year festivities?

     I used to be one of those, "I'm not going to do it, no way, no how" individuals who thought I would faint in front of a crowd. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Even though I white-knuckled it and forced myself to do it when I had to, I knew there had to be a better way. What did professional public speakers know that I didn't?

     After 15 years as a speaker's coach and speechwriter, I believe there are three basic fears:

1. Making a mistake, saying something wrong, forgetting something important
2. Being judged, criticized, disapproved of, humiliated or ridiculed
3. Feeling like a fraud, not good enough, or not deserving to be standing in front of the group at all

     All of these are very real fears and most of us have experienced one or more of them at various times. But here's the thing:    

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           How often have you thought to yourself, "I'd really like to be a better speaker"?

            Cynthia, an accountant, hates to go to networking events because when she has to introduce herself, she's chagrined at the nervousness that overwhelms her. It's not her competence that's in question. She's a very good accountant, has no problem with tax returns, profit & loss statements, budgets or anything else financial. But when she has to tell potential clients just how good she really is and why they should work with her, she freezes. It's hard to remember her own name.

            Cynthia would really like to get over this nervousness. She sees other people speaking easily in front of the group, and wonders why the thought of getting up and giving a speech ties her in knots. Her business limps along while she dreams of being more successful and providing the good life for herself and her family. For several years now she's been thinking about it... and thinking about it... and thinking about it. But when it comes to actually doing something to overcome her fears, she procrastinates.

             Cynthia is an expert at playing the procrastination game. 

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            The other day I needed to ask for telephone help to access an account I hadn’t used in awhile.  I’d forgotten the entry sequence and just wanted a quick, two sentence reminder: “First you do this, then you do that.  That’s all there is to it.”  Unfortunately, that’s not what I got.                        

            For close to 15 agonizing minutes I sat there biting my nails and listening to the person on the other end of the phone repeat the same information at least twice even though I got it the first time.  That was only the beginning. I had the ill-advised temerity to ask a clarifying question.  Big mistake.  He had to start again from the beginning and repeat the same information a third time without, it seems, stopping to take a breath.  No matter how many times or how loudly I asked him to please stop talking, he never heard me.  There was no pause long enough for me to say, “Wait a minute!  I got that.”  He was paying no attention to me on the other end of the phone at all. I pictured him in a little cubicle somewhere, staring at his computer, in a kind of hypnotic state where the information he was reading off the screen went in through his eyes and out through his mouth, bypassing his brain, and certainly his ears, completely!

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     Often I'm approached after a speaking appearance by people who say, "I'd really like to be a better speaker." 

     "Great!" I respond. "How can I help?"
     "Oh, well, I'm doing all right at the moment," they reply. "I'd like to speak better, but I've got other things I have to take care of first. But someday I'd really like to talk to you about it."
     Are you a Someday Speaker? Are you a Someday Book Author, Article Writer, Workshop Presenter, or... you name it, there's probably something connected to your business that you fully intend to do "Someday".
     What are you waiting for? Ask yourself honestly: is Someday really ever going to come? Chances are it isn't.
     Why not? What's holding you back? Who's the gremlin that's whispering in your ear, "You're doing okay the way you are. You don't really need this, do you? It's too much effort. So why bother?"

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